Creating Momentum for Change
Have you ever been in a situation you were unhappy with, but instead of taking action, you can be honest with yourself and admit that you mostly just grumbled and complained? Haven’t we all been there at one time or another? The job that we hate, but aren’t willing to leave. The relationship that is one-sided and drains us, but we aren’t willing to severe. The committee/organization/obligation we committed to that feels like a waste of our time, but we aren’t willing to step away from. When we find ourselves in a situation that we dread even thinking about, we can choose to feel trapped and defeated, or we can use it as an opportunity to step back, evaluate, and consciously decide what our future will look like. Honestly, this can be scary. After all, what we know (regardless of how miserable it might be making us) feels safer than what we don’t know. Here is one model for making a change.
Gleicher’s Change Formula
Dissatisfaction + Vision + First Steps > Resistance to Change
This idea suggests that we must not only be dissatisfied with where we are right now, but have a vision of a different future, and a plan of actual steps to take before we will overcome our natural resistance to change. If all three do not exist, nothing changes. In other words, just being unhappy alone is not enough to move us to action. This is the difference between the person that dreads Mondays and goes to work complaining to their co-workers about hating their job, and the person that dreads Mondays, but realizes they don’t have to stay in a bad situation and therefore creates a plan to find a new job. Six months later one person is still making everyone around them unhappy from complaining, while the second person has moved on and started a new phase of life. The difference between these two individuals is having a vision and action plan.
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life he imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
--- Henry David Thoreau
Listening to your Fear
Fear can be one of the greatest deterrents in life. Fear of the unknown -fear of failing - fear of other people–fear of not being good enough. Fear can also be healthy. If not for a healthy dose of fear, how much more daring would some children be? Fear can be that needed internal alarm telling us not to touch a hot stove or to not take a hairpin curve too fast. But fear can also step in our way when we need to try something new or stretch ourselves in new ways. My three year old took swimming lessons this summer and was afraid of putting her head under the water. Some of this fear was a healthy survival instinct-but, conversely, if she never overcame this fear, she could never learn to swim. It is times like these that we must set aside our fears (and possibly grab a hold of someone’s hand) and take the plunge. Everyday fear stops someone from becoming the full person God intended them to be: be it the person that has a dream of owning their own business but is afraid they may fail; the mother that wants to stay at home with her children but is afraid the money will be too tight; the student that wants to major in accounting but fears they are not smart enough. In my own life I can identify many times I have let fear stop me (or almost stop me) from doing what I felt a burden to do. So go ahead and acknowledge your fears, but then decide; is fear keeping me safe from harm, or is it stopping me from being all that I was meant to be.
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Challenge of the week: Complete a project you have been putting off. Perhaps the refrigerator needs cleaning out, the garage needs organizing, or you have a stack of Thank You cards that have never been finished. Set aside a designated time this week and make a commitment to yourself to finish one project you have been ignoring. Enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when you are done! ***********************************************************************
Emily Frazier is a life coach in Tennessee who specializes in working with people who are feeling overwhelmed, out of balance, or at a crossroads in life. She believes that we all have a God-given purpose, and loves helping others discover what their life’s purpose is. If you would like to talk with Emily about how she can help you in these areas, contact her today for a free consultation: emily@fraziercoaching.com
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